"They don't care about you like I do!!!"
Screaming , howling, breaking ,parting ,ripping, gripping.
"They don't give a fuck about you!"
Cutting,slashing, molesting, raping , trashing, crushing.
"Give me your hand, believe me!I want to protect you from...
I know your demons. I know your diseases, I know which mistakes you commited..."
SLASH!
*She listened to the rhythm of the raindrops. Falling, ever so slightly creating a solemn and unique beat. she wanted to breath the water directly into her lungs. To absorb it into the very core of her cells. The clouds chained hands and legs dragged along the soft curved surface of the sky. She watched them ,not able to free a single limb.*
"Can you not once give me that hand of yours?!"
"Why should I?"
"'cause I want to feel its warmth, I want to fwwl your fingers against mine. I want to hold it safe."
"Forget it."
"You asshole"
"yeah , I might be...but if I am you are holding the hand of an asshole and not a human being"
"So what?" Perhaps it's exactly what I want. Holding the hand of an asshole!"
"You won't be able to wash the firt off ever again."
"I don't care. Let this be my Kain's sign."
He turned around. SLowly, the street behind him was empty. Nevertheless he was sure that he had heared a rustling noise. Like the one a cottonm dress makes ,when moved rapidly. He smiled. If she wanted to play...He walked on ...His stpes resounding on the pitch black asphalt. Tock tock tock. Rustle.Tock. tock. Tock.
He smiled again. You like that... foolish girl. he grinned and bit his lip, taking another step.
*another step into the rain*
The walls surounding the area and the houses on his right side, were pretty solid. Brick walls. But he was sure ,that he could climb them. He bent slowly down. All his force and energy flowing right into his legs. Pumping through the muscles as he let go of it in a single forceful upward thrust of his body. He jumped.
Rustle.
A hand grabbed his shirt and held him back. He lost his direction , lost his balance.
As he landed he did so on one off his knee caps.
*Rape me*
Someone breathed upon his neck. Warm. Hot. Humid.
Someone licked at his neck. Warm. Hot. exciting.
He tried opening his eyes and found that they were covered.
*Domestic fucker?*
He smelled anis and firewood.
then he dropped off to sleep again while soft hands stroked his body into oblivion.
"Tell me, why don't you let go? Why are you so scared of loving?"
"Who says that I am? Perhaps I just don't like being loved."
"That's a lie."
"It isn't. What's the use of being loved if one can't give back love?"
"it makes you feel better. Being loved. even if you can't love in return. I believe that. It makes you feel important."
"Important? I think it makes me being more responsible. i don't like that. Not at all. "
"Responsible?"
"Of course. even if I can't love you, foolish ,stupid, naive girl, I feel responsible for you. I feel like it is my obligation to take care of you. now that you confessed your feelings."
"But that is not true! YOu don't have to! I don't want to be a burden ! And besides I am perfectly able to protect myself!"
"YEAH?!"
"Yes!"
"Ok...you are a bigger liar then I ever was...."
She looked down the riverbank. A pair of birds flocked in the middle of the river. Trying desperatly to catch a piece of wood which floated carelessly on the soft waves. One of them grabbed it in its beak and flew away with it.
She took a stick and started drawing thing s into the sand.
Hands ,moons, stars.
She smiled and drew a coconut.
"Stop it!"
"No! It is fun!"
"Come down here now!"
"Aw, common you sissy. You are terror vixen!"
"Yeah! I am . come down or I'll come up! yOu'll break something!"
"so come. I won't. The only thing I am trying to break is that coconut! WATCH OUT!"
CRASH.
"ARE YOU SICK?! How dare you throw that thing at me?!"
"Just like that."
She climbed down the tree at high speed. Her smile breaking her face in two halves.
"Common ,drink!"
"For sure not!"
She picked the furry thing up from the ground. Turned it in her hands til she found a crack. Then she pressed her lips against it and began sucking softly.
He watched her do so.
"Now you."
He shook his head.
"you stubborn git!"
She pressed the nut into his stomach and threw him onto the sand.
"If you don't frink I'll make you"
He smiled up at her.
"Deal."
*Both of them walked down the park alley. No one was saying a single word. His cheek was swollen and blue. His look fierce. He breathed heavily. She was clutching his hand. Her red dress, contrasting with the darkness around them . She sobbed softly while he dragged her and a rucksack along. Some clothes spilled over its edge , having been stuffed in in a hurry. He had tears in the corner of his eyes. His steps furiously hitting the hard ground. She held her look down but her hand firmly on his.
She mouthed: "Love me."
He turned and stopped dead.
"What?"
Her breath came in soft puffs, while his emerged in hurried thrusts.
"What did you say?"
"I said: LOVE ME! Asshole..."
He looked into her eyes, trying to face the coles within them.
"Assholes don't love."
He picked up the rucksack again and continued dragging her along.
Silence fell.*
He looked at the sky. It seemed that it would rain. Again. he sighed. he wondered where he could sleep this night. the last place he had checked out was becoming a police drop by as days passed. He considered visiting her. but if he did, he knew that she probably wouldn't let him go again . Ask questions. He knew that he would only hurt her.
"I miss you" , he whispered at the sky
He stared for a few moments longer. Then he got up.
"CHASE ME YOU IDIOT!"
"..."
"RAPE ME YOU IDIOT!"
"..."
"I HAVE MEANT IT!"
"..."
*drip. drip.drip. drip. drip.drip.drip.drip.drip.drip.drip.drip.drip.drip-----------------*
"I love you."
