bah...

that's the big problem. when you start again you can't finish...
You can't take your thought of it.
It's addicting...
Kissing is like a drug...
And my body is like the body of a dried out junky screaming for more.
Like a riverbank in the sahara waiting for the next rain.
Like a hungry baby waiting for the spoon fool of delicious looking things.
And my mind is like FOG!
FOG everywhere...
ok...not fog. Mist. It is misty.
I can't concentrate...
Phase of the moon must get a lot out of me...
I wish there would be a pierrot to dance for me...

Keeping close contact to my head and sanity

touch him
linger over his skin
tease every reaction out of his resistant body
indulge your hungry fingertips
in the smooth warmth of his skin
feed your ravenous ears on the gasps and sighs
that he can't quite hide, no matter how he tries.

Forget
Forget
Forget


Forget-me-not...

I should be the most thankful person on this planet.
Because suddenly I was able to stare but without being stared back at...
I could breath without having the feeling of being swallowed.
I could actually just smile. vaguely but I could.
I don't remember when I did that the last time. When I smiled when being left alone. when being just with myself.
An it felt incredible. Like light trying to slash through darkness.
the strange panic didn't come.
ten years older. ten years younger. It felt like ages since that began...
thirty years... I can not think...not now actually.
But I'm to confused...this school starts to piss me of, and I start realizing again that none of the teachers are *giving*. Few have that human warmth...
I'm disappointed by the fetival and such...
COuld have been better...all those beutiful boys...kings and queens and criminal queers...tatoos of ships and tatoos of tears...
Aishite kudasai...
mal sehen .noch weiß ich nicht genau was da vorgeht und was mein herz da zu entwickeln versucht. Trotzdem ist da ein kleiner schmertterling. einer der stettig mit den Flügeln schlägt...